Solo Travel

The one thing I believe all girls/women should do at least once in their lifetime, is travel solo.

Broadly speaking, I think everyone should travel solo at one point in their lives, but I specifically think that those who identify as a (cis) woman would benefit greatly from independence.

Getting out and doing something on your own, whether it be walking around the nearby city or flying to another country, forces you to be resourceful and a bit more self-reliant. Pop goes the bubble you've sheltered yourself in. It's time for you, yourself, to ask others for directions. You get to decide where you want to eat, where you want to stay, what you want to do. It's an opportunity to self-reflect, build self-confidence, and grow up. It's an opportunity to remind yourself that you can take care of yourself perfectly well!

It's very easy for girls to feel like they need someone or something else to complete them. I'm guilty of feeling like that at times, too. Doing things by myself effectively grounds me; I see myself from a new perspective when I detach myself from insecurities or neediness. Not having my comfortable, social bubble also eliminates some distractions, reminding me of who really completes me - I've mentioned the importance of silence before.

Not all parts of the world are conducive to females traveling solo safely, but many of us are privileged enough to live in parts that are. You don't need to get onto an airplane by yourself to grow. Go to a sports game by yourself. Sit on the beach to watch the sunset without anyone else around you. It's freeing to be in places where nobody knows your name. No strings attached, just you doing your thing and not caring. YOU DO YOU.

Now while independence is certainly a perk, I should also mention that solo travel doesn't mean being solo 100% of the time. You can travel by yourself without being alone. There's people everywhere - go make new friends! One of my trips to Boston was a solo, three-day trip during the bomb cyclone. Due to the weather, I found myself leaving a day earlier at the last minute. Always the planner, a big part of me was hesitant and nervous with unexpected changes. At Port Authority, however, a girl asked me in Chinese for directions. We were on the same bus, and though I wasn't confident with my own navigation (first time with Greyhound, too), it's comforting to get lost with others. On the bus, she and her friend asked me where I was heading and we got talking. Both of them are music students from China - one even plays the viola! Our short conversation before the bus got moving re-stimulated the excitement I felt days prior. 

Walking out of South Station into the late evening traffic was another reality shock that jolted me a bit. I was taken back to the same feelings of slight regret when I had walked around the periphery of Georgia Tech (aka downtown Atlanta) by myself. It was dark, the drivers were far less skilled than the ones in New York City. I wasn't sure who was going to pop out of an obscure, Chinatown alleyway. Yet a little discomfort can be good. Without pushing ourselves a bit, new opportunities go untapped. (Plus, Google Maps is a magical gift accessible from your phone.) 

That night at the hostel, I met several other travelers from Australia, France, Montreal, the Netherlands. If I had traveled with my parents, we would have never stayed in a hostel - "bunk bed" is not in my dad's vocabulary. But man am I glad that I stayed there. Aside from being relatively cheaper than AirBnb's and hotels in Boston, the hostel was so international. The entire time I was there, I only spoke to one other American! It took me forever to work up the courage to say hi, but I'm so happy I did. The conversations were so interesting, and given that studying abroad isn't in my cards right now, it was neat to see how the world came to the US. Don't forget, a single person is more approachable than a whole group, too, so it's easier for solo travelers to meet new people. Get out of your comfort zone!

Doing things by yourself is equally as self-assuring, too: wandering around new streets, attending program open houses, walking against the snowstorm's hurricane level winds... (okay, I think anyone would feel like a boss after that). The fact is, when we do things without our security blankets, we realize we're capable of handling life without them. Empowerment!

Of course there will be bumps in the road and times when you feel lonely, but that's when you learn to re-love social media and the opportunity to connect to your friends and family. After a morning out in the snow, I was more than okay with staying put in the hostel. Since I checked in a day early, I switched to a new room - you guys, an 8 person room is so much better than a 4 person room. When I walked in, my Australian roommates were laughing to Friends. Upon hearing Ross shrieking "unagi", I instantly messaged my brother, who was in Italy at the time. Connectivity is so cool and not at all a chore when we use it for the right reasons. Just remember to make the most of your surroundings and set the technology aside appropriately. 

(Side note, I would love to live with these people: some of my roommates went to bed before me -I was not the grandma for once!, they were all clean - oh my word please replace my dorm hall mates, and they were all. so. friendly! They have great taste in television, too.) 

Girls, the bottom line is that defying the stereotype that we are clingy and shy (even when some of us are naturally clingy and shy) instills some boldness. One of the ways to defy that stereotype just happens to be traveling solo.

 

I sat in this spot so many times, just watching the ambulances go in and out of Tufts Medical Center - made me even more excited to visit the following week!

The morning after the storm - Boston Commons

En route to MGH

View from BWH