Sunday Dialogues: There's Light We Cannot See

Mud soaked sneakers squish over tufts of straw. The late afternoon rays of gold cast a yellow tint over the green fields. I lift my eyes to receive the warmth and a gentle wind carries me over the dried, dirt footprints left by a tractor. 

Vibrant, red lungs expand and contract. There's ease. The soft hum of Spanish verses travel sweetly from my ears to my heart. The voices don't bother me anymore. He's running besides me; I feel it. From the expansive pastures of Bull Run, my feet become acquainted with the gnarled tree trunks snaking across Monkey Run. The branches whisper silently, welcoming me as I search hungrily for the sleek, grey cliffs. 

...

My legs run with purpose, through fields and forests, into His glory. Abundant life surrounds me, satisfies me. My heart overflows, assured that the Savior who knows me fully loves me recklessly. He is as still as the placid, blue lake and as alive as the ocean whose waves crash mightily against a canvas of jagged cliffs - the cliffs He made and continues to mold. 

- May 1, 2018 -

Ithaca, NY

I share this excerpt from an old journal not to diminish the sorrows that keep us up at night, nor to force a happy face when there are real reasons to grieve. I share this out of a mustard seed-sized wish that you and I can remember what moments of infinity lay in our past and seek eagerly to encounter them once again tomorrow. 

Not long ago, I was six years deep in a tunnel, barely able to see the light at the end. As I strained forward, I experienced some of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows - all at once. I didn't know what to do with this mixed bag of emotions, because growing up, feelings were buried under piles of paper to be shredded up and forgotten. When the papers got swept up in a storm, I didn't realize I could feel so strongly. 

As messy as feelings are, as lifeless as our hearts may be these days, after expanding, bending, and twisting in ways we didn't know were possible, I'm grateful we're allowed to feel. Who would we be if our hearts couldn't break? But as valid and valued as feelings are, there's great freedom in knowing they don't always reflect the truth. Let's lean in together and press ahead. There's light we cannot see, before us, behind us, beside us, within us - it's all around us, reminding us there is still hope worth holding onto.

The Sovereign God, the King of all Kings, the One who has the power to do anything and everything, chooses to fight for us.

Why do the nations say, "Where is their God?" Our God is in heaven; He does whatever pleases Him... The Lord remembers us and will bless us: 
He will bless His people Israel, He will bless the house of Aaron, He will bless those who fear the Lord - small and great alike. 

Psalm 115: 2-3, 12-15

You yourselves have seen everything the Lord your God has done to all these nations for your sake; it was the Lord your God who fought for you.

Joshua 23:3