Our head coach, B, was a loud, intimidating force. He would later become my AP Calculus teacher (and I the token victim of his teasing as involuntary teacher's pet), but I didn't have to wait until senior year to learn math from him. B taught me a lot, but I apply one lesson most often, perhaps because I've had to scramble between classes within 15 minutes: the quickest, most direct way to get somewhere is a straight line.
Think of a triangle: to get from point A to point C on angle ABC, you draw a hypotenuse between A and C. Makes sense, right? If only we could similarly avoid the longer, indirect routes and recalculations that life presents.
God could have constructed a direct monorail ride from beginning to end, but life isn't straightforward. Lately, mine feels like an indoor rollercoaster: one with a clearly lit beginning and end, but everything in the middle is unknown. How many head-spinning loops, gut-wrenching drops, and screams of terror lie in the dark?
I don't know what's to come, but fortunately the divine Architect and Engineer of this long, scary, and utterly messy ride does. He designed it, so He knows the timing of every turn. He's operating it, so He's in control. There's a silver lining to being led on to this rollercoaster: it's given me more opportunities to reach over and ask Him to hold my hand. I may continue to feel scared, stuck, trapped. I will still beg him to let me off and turn on the lights. But He has the power to calm me - even if He doesn't take the ride away - because He is present in both the inner and outer storm (Matthew 8:23-27).
Pain is not lived in vain, either. God uses all circumstances to build us and others. Applied external force strengthens bones and muscles through the process of "remodeling", breaking down. God remodels the bones and muscles that compose the framework of our faith through the long route, through more experiences with Him. Similarly, circumstances offer the backdrop of a storm through which God can showcase His power and authority. It's so neat how Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were completely protected after being thrown into a blazing furnace.
"...the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them" (Daniel 3:27).Have you ever walked away from a campfire without reeking of smoke? Think of the mind-shattering, heart-changing effects these three men had on the king and other witnesses.
OCPD is a rollercoaster I don't eagerly wait in line for, but it is not lord over me. In fact, this quintessential mark of my sinful nature is a site where God can manifest His glory. Obsessive compulsive personality disorder? Try overwhelmingly, ceaselessly, passionately desired by the King of kings.
"You are not who you were. You are not what you feel. You are not where you're tempted to fall. Now, you are his." (Marshall Segal)
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