May 18, 2015


Justice. Fairness. Equity.

These are things that, as many adults have told me repeatedly, aren't existent in life. People work so hard to only see those who do half the amount of work, or no work at all, get so much farther in life. 

I'm not one to procrastinate. I've never been; I simply can not --- I'm naturally an anxious, but also driven person, who will get any job done on time. Before you say "that's actually good, han", let me just say that it's not always good. Being constantly anxious is not fun nor easy to suppress. An overbearing conscience runs my anxious feelings and makes me very uptight when I get freaked out. So yes, being on top of my stuff has helped in several instances, but I've realized more and more over the past two years that I still don't get as far as certain people and I still somehow suffer consequences that procrastinators escape. 

To address the first issue: "I don't get as far as certain people", let me just acknowledge that the saying "work smart, not hard" is valid to an extent. Yes, save time and energy. But in high school, and probably in life (although being 17 doesn't warrant me much authority on the subject), hard work is not rewarded, results are. Sadly, hard work does not always lead to results due to unfair circumstances. I should know. So while I struggle and read the textbook every night, take pages of cornell notes, study in advance of a test, I typically do not do as well in certain subjects as others because I just don't have a natural aptitude for them. The worst part, is that I'm surrounded by people who are naturally adept at what seems like everything: academics, sports, music, art, you name it. And many times, these people excel in school without doing very much work (or not doing any at all). Yes, there are several gifted individuals who continue to work hard and succeed, but there are many, MANY who don't and still succeed. 

As for the second issue: procrastinators feel the pressures of time and typically can't put in as much effort as someone who started well in advance. Yet teachers often spit out last minute changes, and with several of my teachers, drastic changes, making me have to change everything that I worked on or even start all over while the procrastinators simply just start for the first time. So while I have to do twice the amount of work, they only have to do it once, and we both have the same restrictions of time. Sure, I might have already known the material so it might be easier to re-do the essay or project, but I truly value time, and I lose a lot of it having to re-do something. Yes, problems lie with the teachers who habitually do things like this, and there's an issue with the education system and how teachers are tenured (okay, slightly off topic, but this is a subject that I am extremely passionate about and may write about in the future). But another problem arises when the teacher does not recognize the inconvenience on the student who has continuously demonstrated effort and hard work. So that's what I mean when I suffer consequences that procrastinators escape ---  I lose time, something that I can't get back. Granted, my situation with school is a "first world problem". I'll suck it up because there's only one more month of school from today. 

But you know what? Life isn't fair to everyone, yet we have a justice system. There are rules that attempt to maintain equality. Humans continuously instill structures that promote equity so that life is a little bit more fair, so why does everyone keep saying "life isn't fair" when they want to essentially make someone accept inequality? "Life isn't fair" should be something that we all understand, but I don't think it should be accepted in a way that makes us all content with the "unfairness" of life because we're all capable of changing unfair circumstances and improving the quality of life (in all situations, whether it be petty little first world problems like mine or serious, life threatening ones).

xoxo, han

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