February 1, 2015

Fatal Flaws

I first heard of the term "fatal flaw" when I read Rick Riordan's "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief" series, and ever since then, I've been trying to figure out what my fatal flaw is. Well, I think I've got it. 

I care too much. 

A lady who used to read college essays and helped me with mine told me that based on my past with volunteering, she thinks I'm very compassionate, which is hard to find in a person. I was really surprised at first, and I couldn't really believe her, but the longer I mulled upon that, the longer I found ways to prove that was true -- sure, I volunteer, but so do a lot of people. But I do care about things and I am very considerate in a weird way. In my entire family, I'm really the only one who cares so much about the environment. I try to tie in aspects of health because human health is very connected to environmental health, but for me, the environment is enough to make a change in my life. I go out of my way to help other people because I try to sympathize as much as I can. Sure, I guess I do care a lot about some things.

But there is a big downside to caring so much. It's caring too much. It's worrying every minute about everything. Things that shouldn't matter yet. Things that should not frustrate me. But do. I plan and research everything beforehand, because I care about things turning out the right way. 

And I know, in one month, maybe even in two weeks, I'll look back and laugh because there was no point in worrying so much. Planning so much. Expecting so much. But I can't help it. I try not to, but I can't. It's my fatal flaw. It's intrinsic. 

So my step one right now to conquer my fatal flaw, or to at least not make it so "fatal", is to preoccupy myself with something else. Distract my mind. If I can't forget or drop a worry, then I'll just pus it aside, leave it alone for a little bit. Let myself grow minute by minute, because there's no point in worrying about the future if it hasn't happened yet. If the present is ten times more important. 

One quote that I stumbled across on pinterest a few days ago has really resonated with me, and I keep repeating it to myself every day:

"Take pride in how far you have come, and have faith in how far you can go."

I have to just remember that whatever comes my way, I just have to grab each opportunity that presents itself. If the opportunity doesn't come my way, then there's no point in pining over it. 

commence phase 1 of conquering my fatal flaw.

xoxo, han

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for checking out my blog! I clicked on yours and was seriously so excited to see that you read the Percy Jackson series hahah. I don't know many other girls my age who read any type of fantasy... go us!